I am feeling a little sick and not a little angry. I was invited to do some work overseas next summer. I accepted, explaining that Anna is not getting any better (an English euphemism for saying she is getting worse), and that there was therefore the small possibility that I would have to withdraw, if I could not get away at that time. Instead they have withdrawn the invitation.
In the world of work we act according to false certainties, in omnipotent denial of what is beyond our control. In that world I should not have said anything about Anna. I remember people with past experience of mental illness saying that they had to hide this fact in the application for jobs, because employers would not understand. And now, because I cannot avoid thinking about the uncertainities in my life, I also feel that I am being punished.