It is a simple thing, I was going to have a drink with a friend, Andrew, but I didn’t make it. He is a professor of social work and we were going to talk about the future of social care among other things. Anna had been complaining of headaches and her back and might have an infection and I could not think of anyone to come and be with her for a couple of hours. The care system was exhausted. Not much in itself, but it felt like a defeat. A door banging shut.
I get the support I can - including a weekly meeting with a psychoanalyst – but this week the carer on Wednesday mornings has gone home to Poland to celebrate her marriage, and there is not anyone else I can trust at this time. It is only the second time I have missed a session in six years, but it is the second time in six weeks. Another door bangs.